My Shopping Rules

I love a good bargain.  I can spot clearance signs a mile away!  Even my wedding dress was $99, marked down from $549!

However, I have had a tendency to buy things marked down because they are cheap, even if they don't fit, or I don't have an immediate need for it. It is cheap, therefore I will buy it because that might come in handy one day.  Fellow hoarders, I'll let you in on a secret: it rarely actually comes in handy! 

Here are a few rules I try to follow, to keep my bargain hunting in check:

1. Try It On!  Do not buy an item of clothing if I haven't tried it on to make sure it fits properly.  I seem to have size 10 shoulders, 12 bust, 14 waist and 16 hips.  Even if it is only $2.87 on a clearance rack at Target, I still need to make sure it fits my bust without gaping around my shoulders, or my hips without gaping at my waist.  I have bought far too many things that haven't fit well, and ended up getting rid of them because I don't like wearing them.

2. Be realistic about repairs and alterations.  Sewing a button back on is easy, and worth getting the marked down item for.  Replacing a zip isn't.  I have methods for taking in waists, but only as a last resort.  Adjusting sizes is easy on some things, but not others. I found a skirt once for $6 that was two or three sizes too big, but was a simple a-line that I took home and ran a new seam up the side and then got a tonne of wear from it.  I also have a cute dress in my box of unfinished sewing projects that, well, it proved a little too hard to make the skirt part bigger.

3. Only buy it if I actually want it, not because it is dirt cheap.  I have bought marked down stuff at the supermarket a gazillion times because it's cheap but then don't find a use for it, or no-one really likes it anyway.

4. Only buy it if I need it.  It's better to get the marked down option rather than the full priced one if I was buying it anyway, but not just because it is marked down.   Kitchen gadgets, sewing notions, gardening supplies, clothes, books: I'm guilty of buying all these things because they are cheap, even though I don't need them. And, surprise surprise, most have been left unused or only used a few times before realising they were a waste of money.

5. Only look at sales racks, especially clothing, if I'm looking for something in particular, and be satisfied to pay full price if I can't find something on the sales rack.  I have settled for second best too many times because I haven't wanted to pay full price.  Second best ends up as clutter.


I once heard a saying: a bargain is an item that you don't really need but is too cheap to leave behind.   I'm practising leaving it behind because spending money on things I don't need is just wasteful. no matter how much it has been reduced by,

A procrastination post

I decided I had better deal with a box full of junk.  A box that I had thrown in various things one day when I was doing one of those 'people are coming! quick, tidy the house!' clean ups.  You know, the ones that I wouldn't need to have if I didn't have so much clutter.

I've sent the 'artwork' to the recycling bins. There are only so many Kindy projects that I need to keep, and that's a pretty small number.

I've got a pile of things that need to just be put away.  A couple of board game instructions, a few articles that I need to read and decide whether to keep it or not.

There is a sewing project that just needs ten or fifteen minutes of attention to be finished.

Then there is the rest:  a pack of cards (I guess I should determine whether it is a whole pack or not), a heap of candles from when I went through a candles-and-oils-to-make-the-house-smell-nice phase (that only lasted a few weeks), some coins I saved from our New Zealand trip last year to go into my husband's coin collection (don't even ask how they still haven't got into the collection nine months later), some photos to be scrapbooked (some of them are from Big Boy's second birthday, and now he's four -and-a-half - I haven't scrapbooked much in a while), a pair of swimming goggles, a timber whistle, some computer games that don't work on my computer, the charger from our old camera (which died in NZ), a peg, a pen, nail clippers, dolls clothes (despite having two sons), wood glue, a tennis ball, my spare glasses (I'm paranoid about breaking my glasses and not being able to see until I can get them fixed!), and some manicure stuff (I don't really pay much attention to my nails, so they were probably a gift).

Some of these things have been shifted from one place to another, and then another.  I tend to get caught up in the fact that something is still useful, or that a paid good money for it and hang on to things that I will never use anyway.   If I want to avoid last minute clean ups, and not have a cluttered home, then I need to make those tough decisions about the things in my box.    And I need to stop procrastinating.

I WANT to be a minimalist, even if the journey is painful at times.

Excess baggage: my handbag

My handbag is too big and too full and too heavy. I bought a new one just before Christmas, and it’s been annoying me since just after Christmas. 

Once upon a time I used to just carry my wallet, phone and keys in a tiny little bag.  During the semester I would also have a pen and my student diary, but I’d leave them at home during term breaks, and would usually change handbags on weekends.  If I didn't need it while I was out, why bother lugging it around with me! 

When I had my first baby my handbag contained:

• wallet
• phone
• keys
• travel size baby wipes
• one disposable nappy 
• glasses case (I now wear glasses full time and prefer to wear sunglasses when I’m outside, and obviously need prescription sunglasses) 
• pen 
• a muslin wrap which I used as a breastfeeding cover, or a change mat, or a light blanket, or to wipe up spills.  
• when the baby was a bit older I also kept a small container with a couple of biscuits in it, and a drink bottle, and left the wrap out because I didn’t really use it anymore. 

I kept two more spare nappies and a change of clothes in the car, and if I knew I would need more than that I would take it with me. 

But, seeing as somehow in between babies I’ve managed to make my whole life incredibly more complicated, I’ve now ended up with a huge handbag with far too much in it.  Well, I think it is huge.  Apparently it’s not that big.  

In my handbag today I have:

• wallet
• phone
• keys
• glasses case
• small notebook for writing things down when I think of them at the shops
• larger notebook for when I want to do some writing at a coffee shop while Big Boy is at Kindy and if Small Boy is asleep
• a disposable nappy
• a slightly larger travel case of baby wipes (but it is refillable, so I don’t mind too much that it is bigger)
• muslin wrap
• spare clothes for the baby and spare underpants for Big Boy. 
• a folder with crayons and a notebook for Big Boy’s amusement
• a small pencil case containing a pen, lipgloss, lip balm, an emery board, and a tube of Pure Wipes
• A small stack of loyalty cards for various stores all tied up with a rubber band (it means I don’t have them all in my wallet and can have a smaller wallet but still have the loyalty cards)  

My bag is twice as big because I have twice as much stuff in there. I don’t hear my phone ring, and I have trouble finding my keys.  And guess what. I don’t even need it all. I don’t need the Pure Wipes when I’ve got baby wipes anyway: they’re left from when I only had a toilet trained but still messy toddler. I forget about the lip balm because it’s tucked away inside a case, and don’t really use it that often anyway.  I don’t use either notebook enough to warrant carrying them all the time.  I managed without spare clothes in my bag when my first son was a baby, I’m sure I can still manage now. 

Sadly, I spent a lot of money on this bag.  I wanted a nice leather handbag that would see me out five years or more, and had been looking few a weeks weeks at different bags and had narrowed down between two or three bags. I had a 30% off voucher for a particular bag store, and had decided I would get a bag there.   But then I saw this other bag, one that I hadn’t seen before.  It would definitely hold all I needed (or didn’t need, as it turns out), and it was very stylish bag.  It was black, not the red that I was hoping for this time, but it was very nice.  It also cost somewhat more than what I had intended on spending.   But it was ‘perfect’ and i had to have it.  And the kids were getting grumpy and my husband was starting to get that ‘just make a decision’ look in his eyes.   It was an impulse purchase.

It is still a lovely bag.  It’s just too big for me.   I might try selling it and getting something smaller and a little more wieldy.  But first I need to get all the unnecessary junk out of it!

Where I’ve come from - the last straw

My second son was born two weeks after my 30th birthday.  He’s three months old now. The pregnancy had taken it’s toll on me.  I get tired so easily, and pregnancy makes me tired.  I spent the whole nine months with very little energy, and what energy I had was given over to my older son, who is four, and has an incredibly active mind needing a lot of stimulation.  Plus, I spent a lot of time procrastinating. 

The baby was born, and I was then really unable to do much more at all than looking after the baby.  Just like his older brother, he isn’t so keen on sleep. I could not see any time in the foreseeable future when I was going to do all the things on my list that I had procrastinated , and I had a little meltdown.   The house was getting messier and messier.  The list of things I needed, not wanted, needed, to do was getting longer because I was putting them off too.   

And gifts were pouring in. Gifts for the new baby.  Gifts for my older son, congratulating him on becoming a big brother.  Gifts for my husband from his students for the end of year. Then Christmas.   I was feeling ungrateful every time something else arrived for the baby because he didn’t need any new clothes or new toys - we had everything left from our first baby! 

I was craving simplicity.  I just wanted things to be simple and straightforward. That way I could have time to spend with my husband and my children, and not feel guilty that I hadn’t finished things or that I wasn’t meeting other people’s expectations.    I had been striving for simplicity for so long, but was making it too complicated.  

But then signing back in to Google Reader on the iPod Touch while rocking the baby one night, I was reminded about minimalism.  I used to read lots and lots of blogs, and after culling them by half to try and regain some time back, I simply stopped reading all together.  Some on finance, some on housekeeping, some friend’s blogs.  So I’d read about minimalism before. 

And that’s what I wanted.  Just the basics.  Just what we need as a family.  Not what everyone else tells us we need.  It’s what I had been searching for all these years. 

I’m starting to feel a little freer already.

Where I’ve come from - a catalyst for change

During my uni days my bedroom was getting more and more jam packed.  I hated it, because it was always so messy.  I found it too stressful to work in, and found myself studying either at the dining table or the library.  My sister hated it, too, because she shared the room with me.  It was the size of two bedrooms, but we still had to share. My sister is a bit of a neat freak.  I sometimes wonder if that’s my fault... 

I wished at the time that I didn’t have so much stuff.  I wanted to be the sort of person who could just put everything they owned into the back of a car.  I didn’t realise that I could have been that if I wanted to.  Instead, I chose what seemed a whole heap cooler at the time - the sort of person who bought a new CD every week or two.  I listen to very few of those CDs anymore.  I know now that spending breeds spending

I left home and had not one car boot full of my stuff, but probably five or six. Or maybe more.  I couldn’t take it all with me at once.  My sister was moving town at the same time, so my parents got a big trailer and moved us both at once.  Just that stuff filled the boot and backseat of my sedan. Twice.  And I’d left stuff back home.  

I moved house twice while I lived in that town. The second one was into my husband’s house when we got married.  It was a big effort to move, both times.  I didn’t realise that it didn’t need to be.  

But then, a few months after we were married, we decided to pack up and head overseas for two years.  We were only taking what we needed for the two years with us.  Everything else was going into storage.  

As I began packing things into boxes to go into the storage facility I kept thinking but what if I don’t want this in two years time?    But, we were busy getting the house ready for renting it out and didn’t have time to properly go through stuff.  I got rid of quite a few things, but could have got rid of so much more.  I didn’t realise that I was right, and I was going to be storing stuff that I just got rid of when it came out of boxes two years later.  

I didn’t bring anything home with me that I didn’t want, when we came back to Australia.  I gave bags and bags of stuff to the girl who looked after our house.  She was so grateful, because she only earned a few dollars a day and couldn’t afford much.  

Then I had my very own house for the first time.  A whole house.  With just my stuff in it. (As opposed to moving into my husband’s house that he had already furnished himself.)  And I was in it all day most days, because I was now home with a baby.  And it wasn’t just my room that was messy - it was the ENTIRE HOUSE.   That’s when I started decluttering a little here and there, but unfortunately, I was still buying stuff and hoarding it. It’s been a very gradual process, thus far, but I can honestly see a difference between now and when we moved in here.

Where I’ve come from - the stuff

I keep stuff I don’t need.  I buy stuff I don’t need.  I buy more than I need. I buy things and keep things for ‘just in case’.  I think I’m saving money when I buy something on a really good special, not realising that if I never use it then the money is wasted.  

When I was studying English Literature, I would scour the secondhand bookshops for my required texts, but came home with three other books I wanted to read, but not necessarily the book I needed.   It would have been cheaper to go straight to the Uni bookshop!

My friends and I would go ‘op-shopping’.  I don’t know what you call it in your part of the world, but we would jump in the car and go to four or five different charity stores.  In Australia we call them op (opportunity) shops, or Vinnie’s (St Vincent De Paul) and Salvo’s (Salvation Army) and or Lifeline, after names of shops.  We could go looking for outfits for fancy dress parties, or dress up nights at youth group (a couple of us were leaders), or just funky outfits.  I could easily go for a morning op-shopping with the girls and spend $20 or $30, and never spend more than $5 on a piece of clothing.  I’d go by myself other times.  I was buying all my clothes cheap - I was, and still am a little, into the retro look - but buying so many of them.   I did get a lot of bargains.  A dress for 10c, that I got a lot of wear out of, and is still hanging in my cupboard because I love it and haven’t been willing to part with it yet.  A pin-stripe suit for $1.  I gave that back to Salvos a few weeks ago.   

When I was studying Education I would collect things that would be useful for teaching.  I was going to be teaching Music and English, so I collected up books and CDs and sheet music.  They would all come in handy if I were to be teaching a unit on that particular topic! 

I love to sew and make things.  I have unfinished craft projects, and untouched fabric and craft materials dating back over ten years.  

Since having a family I stockpile food and clothes and toiletries and games and activities.

I could go on, but I won’t.  I need to put an end to buying things for in case I need them, and then not using them. 

Where I’ve come from - I’ve spent how much? On what?

Around my 20th birthday I had a bit of a life changing moment, and reached a certain point of maturity.  I was still living at home while I studied, but at the time I was housesitting for three months, and about to quit a part-time job that I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up during next part of my study.  For whatever reason, I sat down and worked out how much I had earned in this job, and then looked at my bank account and wanted to know where it had all gone. Before having this job, I’d been unable to find a part time job for various reasons (not least being my lack of maturity!), and had relied on a chunk of inheritance money I had received from my late father’s parents’ estate after they both died.  It was enough to be the equivalent of whatever I would have earned working part-time through my five years at uni.  

I have an excellent memory, and had been able to sit down with my bank statements and work out roughly what I had spent money on over the previous year.  I was shocked, saddened and ashamed to say the least.  I had spent every last penny of my earnings on crap.  So many books I intended to read.  So many CDs.  So many clothes, jewelry and make up.   I’m so glad I never thought to get a credit card while I was at uni!

I didn’t exactly stop buying stuff.  I would still see ‘bargains’ and the shops and buy them even though I didn’t really need them.  I still bought books that I intended to read.  I still bought fabric intended to sew stuff. I still bought CDs for just one song.   But I did start to spend less, and spend within my budget.    

Straight away I stopped using my debit card.  I had been buying everything electronically, and had no idea how much I was really spending.  I just got the cash I needed and only spent that.  That plan has worked on and off for me over the last 10 years!  Nearly a year later when I was able to take on another job, they only paid in cash, so I very diligently kept what I needed and banked what I didn’t for the time I worked there. 

I was probably fortunate in the next semester that I was well and truly overloaded in my subjects for uni: finishing off my Arts degree, while starting my Education degree because the penny finally dropped that to get a career in music I had to KNOW people, and I didn’t.  I was doing 18 credit points instead of 12, and had no time for anything much, especially not shopping!   

In my final year at uni I had a job earning good money, except that because I had to do 12 weeks of teaching prac during the year, it meant I could only work one or two shifts on weekends.  That only covered the cost of fuel in my car, and maybe coffee with friends after church on Sunday.  So by the time I finished uni and got a full time job in another town, I had about $175 in my bank account.  I had to borrow money from Mum to pay the bond on my unit!  

But my lessons had been learned, and I didn’t want to find myself in either position again.  And I haven’t.  I managed to save 25% of my after tax income in the two years I worked in that job.  Since being married, we have never spent more than we’ve earned in a year.  Which is a start, but when I look back on how much stuff we’ve bought and not really needed, and some not really even used, I think we probably could have saved an awful lot more than we have.  And have a somewhat less cluttered house!

Where I’ve come from - why I was a hoarder

I had a bit of a brain dump the other day, just writing about my relationship with stuff, and how I have come to be a hoarder and the things that led to me unlearning those behaviours.  I'm going to post each section over the next few days. Some of them could be long. Just warning you. 

*** 

I used to be a hoarder.  I would:

• buy things because I liked them or thought they would be useful, and they were a good price
• keep things because one day they might come in handy
• keep things because I had spent so much money on them and it seemed wasted if I got rid of the item 

I first knew I was a hoarder when I was 12.  I just had no clue that keeping stuff could be a problem.  Mum was helping me pack my room ready to move house and found a pile of out-of-date gossip magazines.  I had kept them for in case I needed the photos for something.  

I think I know why.  You see, my father died just before my sixth birthday, and then Mum remarried. Then when I was ten we moved down to Brisbane, then two years later moved back to Townsville.   I was a socially awkward kid (I’m on the nerdy side!), and those couple of years in Brisbane were the easiest years by far.  

I think that in my subconscious I’ve been afraid to let things go in case I lose something important and can’t get it back, or don’t have it when I need it.  Holding on to stuff gives me some control, or at least the illusion of control.   

But instead, I’ve been out of control of my stuff, and I’ve discovered that there are things in life you just can’t control.  Things like death and the economy and the weather and other people.  Things that happen despite from your stuff, and can sometimes take away your stuff. 

Embarrassment

Today we had our house sprayed for pests.  I was embarrassed by the sheer number of cockroaches.  It quite likely wasn't my fault, but I feel it could be that my clutter impedes me from keeping my house as clean as I would like it.

But I was more embarrassed by the piles of clutter, and the stuff shoved into cupboards, because the pest control man had to spray in those places.  It's certainly not as bad as other people's houses, and definitely much, much better than it used to be.

I don't like feeling this way.  I want to be able to invite people home for lunch after church on Sunday, or have a friends over for morning tea, and know that we can find the dining table and the kitchen bench, without having to shove things in another room. Without apologising about the state of the house.

Things have to change.

Admitting who I’m not

I am not a painter.

I am not a knitter. (Who am I kidding? I live in the tropics!) 

I am probably never going to be a runner.

I don’t even want to make a quilt. 

I’m not really much of a gardener.  Just a vegie patch is all I’m going to work on, not a full garden of interesting plants. 

I don’t want to perfect the art of cake decorating.

I’m not a DIYer (and neither is my husband). 

I’m not even convinced I want to scrapbook.  

Admitting that I’m not going to do a whole lot of things that I once thought I wanted to do is hard.  But, when it comes down to it, I can’t do everything.  I can’t be everyone.  And I’ll be honest, I only learnt this in the last few months. 

Realising that there are things that I want to do, things that I regret still having not done, and that I haven’t done them because I’ve been busy trying to do things that other people do.  

The reality is that I am a wife and mother, I enjoy sewing, like to cook (though I’m no Masterchef), and get a thrill out of my own homegrown vegetables.  I would like to be better at the piano, and write a few songs.  When my kids are at school I want to become a writer, and maybe move into a career in music history.  Maybe.   

Knowing who I am and who I’m not means not cluttering up my house and my life with things belonging to the person I’m not.  

So, I will be selling my unused yarn on Etsy.  Then I’ll probably finish off the scrapbooks I haven’t finished and see if I am still keen.  If I’m not, I’ll make cards from the leftovers and sell them on Etsy, too.  (I do like to make my own cards.  They are so much nicer than Hallmark.)  I’ll give away a few craft books that were hand-me-downs from Mum, anyway.  

And that will be a start at least. 

Then I can spend a little more time honing my writing skills, mucking about on my piano, and playing with my kids. Right?

Introductions

Hi.

My name is Susan.  I have one husband and two sons.  I am thirty years old.  I live in Queensland, Australia.  I am a Christian.  I play the piano.  I used to work as a school teacher.  I would like to be a writer.

I have too many things.  Too many pots and plates and cups.  Too many books.  Too much floor to sweep and mop.  Too many towels.  Too many different ingredients in my kitchen cupboards.  Too many spare tubs of moisturiser in my bathroom cabinet.  Too many unfinished sewing projects.  Too many un-started craft projects.

I have been a hoarder since I was a child.  More on that later.

I came to a realisation about six years ago that I have Too Much Stuff.  More on that later.

I came to a realisation in the last few months that, actually, deep inside, I actually want to be a minimalist.  I love order, organisation, efficiency and functionality.  That's how my head works, but you wouldn't know it from my house.

That is all about to change.   That is what this blog is about.  Me working through the things that have made me a hoarder, and solving the problem.

I'd love to have you aboard on my journey.