Where I’ve come from - I’ve spent how much? On what?

Around my 20th birthday I had a bit of a life changing moment, and reached a certain point of maturity.  I was still living at home while I studied, but at the time I was housesitting for three months, and about to quit a part-time job that I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep up during next part of my study.  For whatever reason, I sat down and worked out how much I had earned in this job, and then looked at my bank account and wanted to know where it had all gone. Before having this job, I’d been unable to find a part time job for various reasons (not least being my lack of maturity!), and had relied on a chunk of inheritance money I had received from my late father’s parents’ estate after they both died.  It was enough to be the equivalent of whatever I would have earned working part-time through my five years at uni.  

I have an excellent memory, and had been able to sit down with my bank statements and work out roughly what I had spent money on over the previous year.  I was shocked, saddened and ashamed to say the least.  I had spent every last penny of my earnings on crap.  So many books I intended to read.  So many CDs.  So many clothes, jewelry and make up.   I’m so glad I never thought to get a credit card while I was at uni!

I didn’t exactly stop buying stuff.  I would still see ‘bargains’ and the shops and buy them even though I didn’t really need them.  I still bought books that I intended to read.  I still bought fabric intended to sew stuff. I still bought CDs for just one song.   But I did start to spend less, and spend within my budget.    

Straight away I stopped using my debit card.  I had been buying everything electronically, and had no idea how much I was really spending.  I just got the cash I needed and only spent that.  That plan has worked on and off for me over the last 10 years!  Nearly a year later when I was able to take on another job, they only paid in cash, so I very diligently kept what I needed and banked what I didn’t for the time I worked there. 

I was probably fortunate in the next semester that I was well and truly overloaded in my subjects for uni: finishing off my Arts degree, while starting my Education degree because the penny finally dropped that to get a career in music I had to KNOW people, and I didn’t.  I was doing 18 credit points instead of 12, and had no time for anything much, especially not shopping!   

In my final year at uni I had a job earning good money, except that because I had to do 12 weeks of teaching prac during the year, it meant I could only work one or two shifts on weekends.  That only covered the cost of fuel in my car, and maybe coffee with friends after church on Sunday.  So by the time I finished uni and got a full time job in another town, I had about $175 in my bank account.  I had to borrow money from Mum to pay the bond on my unit!  

But my lessons had been learned, and I didn’t want to find myself in either position again.  And I haven’t.  I managed to save 25% of my after tax income in the two years I worked in that job.  Since being married, we have never spent more than we’ve earned in a year.  Which is a start, but when I look back on how much stuff we’ve bought and not really needed, and some not really even used, I think we probably could have saved an awful lot more than we have.  And have a somewhat less cluttered house!

Where I’ve come from - why I was a hoarder

I had a bit of a brain dump the other day, just writing about my relationship with stuff, and how I have come to be a hoarder and the things that led to me unlearning those behaviours.  I'm going to post each section over the next few days. Some of them could be long. Just warning you. 

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I used to be a hoarder.  I would:

• buy things because I liked them or thought they would be useful, and they were a good price
• keep things because one day they might come in handy
• keep things because I had spent so much money on them and it seemed wasted if I got rid of the item 

I first knew I was a hoarder when I was 12.  I just had no clue that keeping stuff could be a problem.  Mum was helping me pack my room ready to move house and found a pile of out-of-date gossip magazines.  I had kept them for in case I needed the photos for something.  

I think I know why.  You see, my father died just before my sixth birthday, and then Mum remarried. Then when I was ten we moved down to Brisbane, then two years later moved back to Townsville.   I was a socially awkward kid (I’m on the nerdy side!), and those couple of years in Brisbane were the easiest years by far.  

I think that in my subconscious I’ve been afraid to let things go in case I lose something important and can’t get it back, or don’t have it when I need it.  Holding on to stuff gives me some control, or at least the illusion of control.   

But instead, I’ve been out of control of my stuff, and I’ve discovered that there are things in life you just can’t control.  Things like death and the economy and the weather and other people.  Things that happen despite from your stuff, and can sometimes take away your stuff. 

Embarrassment

Today we had our house sprayed for pests.  I was embarrassed by the sheer number of cockroaches.  It quite likely wasn't my fault, but I feel it could be that my clutter impedes me from keeping my house as clean as I would like it.

But I was more embarrassed by the piles of clutter, and the stuff shoved into cupboards, because the pest control man had to spray in those places.  It's certainly not as bad as other people's houses, and definitely much, much better than it used to be.

I don't like feeling this way.  I want to be able to invite people home for lunch after church on Sunday, or have a friends over for morning tea, and know that we can find the dining table and the kitchen bench, without having to shove things in another room. Without apologising about the state of the house.

Things have to change.

What minimalism means to me

Having and using just what we need to live a full and happy life. 

Getting out of the cycle of buying and discarding and being dependent on work and money. 

Having less tangible stuff, but more time together. 

Having a tiny to-do list so I can be free for helping others.

I don’t want a house

We bought a cheaper, basic house with nothing in the back yard.  We thought we wanted to garden, and that we could save some money on the house itself by doing up the yard ourselves.  I was sure I wanted to be a gardener.  We’ve put in a small shed, a little patio to sit on to watch the kids play, and a garden bed.  And hardly use the back yard.  We also hate general maintenance, so it seems.  We had some minor flooding during the cyclone, because of a problem that probably should have been fixed a long time ago.  Now we really had better fix it.  

But then it dawned on me today: I don’t want to own a house.  

We bought a house because, well, that’s what you do.  Isn’t that what everyone with a family does?  I live in regional Australia, where everyone I know, have ever known, lives in a house with a yard.  If they live in a townhouse or a unit it is just until they can move into a proper house.   Every weekend you have to mow the lawn, and, at least at my house, most of the time we can’t even use the yard because it is so stinking hot.  I’ve been telling my husband for as long as we’ve lived here that I wish we didn’t have so much front yard because we don’t use it for anything but keeping the letterbox on. 

I still want to own a house rather than rent it - our mortgage repayments are far lower than rent, but now I’m wondering whether my family’s lifestyle is more suited to a 3-bedroom unit in a small complex. Somewhere we we can still have people over (which is something we do actually do), and maybe a couple of pots of tomatoes and things on the verandah, and then be able to walk to the park to play cricket or ride bikes.  Maybe a courtyard or a large verandah where the kids can get out and run around and where we can spend all our time outside (hey, I live in the tropics!). 

The funny thing is that I’ve been attracted to that style of housing for so long.  Maybe my subconscious has been trying to tell me something.  I think we probably should have known that we don’t like maintenance, because we aren’t exactly handy people.  I’d much rather read a book, and my husband would much rather kick a football, than prune trees or paint walls.  Really. 

The toughest thing now will be to convince my husband that we should even consider it.  

Cleaning Up

We made it through to the other side of Cyclone Yasi.  My house came off nearly scot-free.  A lot of others weren't so lucky.  We were without electricity for a bit less than 48 hours (others have been much longer, and further north where they were worst hit could go weeks yet) but because of good preparations I didn't need to throw out much food.  We cooked up whatever we could on the butane stove, and the little bit of meat we had in the freezer has defrosted now, so I'll cook it up today.  Buying only what we need in t short term makes a lot of sense during cyclone season!

Because I'd moved everything lose away from windows, we're now putting it back.  But as we are putting things away we are also culling.  My husband (who isn't even on my minimalism journey, he just wants a tidy house) and my 4-year-old are sorting through toys and doing a great job.  

I have never wanted to be a minimalist more than today

Cyclone Yasi is bearing down on us.  It is massive. It is really scary.  It's already getting windy, and damaging winds will be affecting us within 3 hours from now.

If you pray, please pray for North Queensland: that people will remain safe, and that the storm will lose intensity before landfall.  We are being told in official warnings that this will be the worst and most life threatening cyclone in living memory.  We are used to cyclones here, but not of this magnitude.   We are used to cyclones badly affecting one or two towns, but not 5 or 6.  We know about them lasting a few hours, not an entire day and night.  Even the authorities are scared. The worst of the storm should miss us, but we are on the south of the storm, and the southern side is always the worst.

We've been madly moving stuff inside, and into cupboards or into more sheltered spots in case a window blows. We don't want missiles inside the house.  I wish I didn't have so much stuff to move - so much of it useless or unnecessary.