My second son was born two weeks after my 30th birthday. He’s three months old now. The pregnancy had taken it’s toll on me. I get tired so easily, and pregnancy makes me tired. I spent the whole nine months with very little energy, and what energy I had was given over to my older son, who is four, and has an incredibly active mind needing a lot of stimulation. Plus, I spent a lot of time procrastinating.
The baby was born, and I was then really unable to do much more at all than looking after the baby. Just like his older brother, he isn’t so keen on sleep. I could not see any time in the foreseeable future when I was going to do all the things on my list that I had procrastinated , and I had a little meltdown. The house was getting messier and messier. The list of things I needed, not wanted, needed, to do was getting longer because I was putting them off too.
And gifts were pouring in. Gifts for the new baby. Gifts for my older son, congratulating him on becoming a big brother. Gifts for my husband from his students for the end of year. Then Christmas. I was feeling ungrateful every time something else arrived for the baby because he didn’t need any new clothes or new toys - we had everything left from our first baby!
I was craving simplicity. I just wanted things to be simple and straightforward. That way I could have time to spend with my husband and my children, and not feel guilty that I hadn’t finished things or that I wasn’t meeting other people’s expectations. I had been striving for simplicity for so long, but was making it too complicated.
But then signing back in to Google Reader on the iPod Touch while rocking the baby one night, I was reminded about minimalism. I used to read lots and lots of blogs, and after culling them by half to try and regain some time back, I simply stopped reading all together. Some on finance, some on housekeeping, some friend’s blogs. So I’d read about minimalism before.
And that’s what I wanted. Just the basics. Just what we need as a family. Not what everyone else tells us we need. It’s what I had been searching for all these years.
I’m starting to feel a little freer already.